Liberty Jail: an oxymoron

Dearest Family and Friends,

Week three has come and gone so fast! Can you believe im almost 1/18th of the way done!!!! its been another beautiful week in the MTC. i am really getting used to it here! and i weighed myself yesterday and good news. same same. NO TUBB! lol. I love wednesdays because i get to welcome new missionaries like i was welcomed. it feels good :) and i get to see familiar faces too! this week i saw Brandon Squires, from high school seminary and Temple Tuesday at USU and Anna Huggard from chamber choir and student council and Josh Savage from chamber choir! its so awesome!!!

like i said. its been a BEAUTIFUL week! i feel like i have learned so much! i can now recite memorized in spanish: "our Purpose" , invite someone to be baptised (which is one of the only things you memorize in PMG-Preach My Gospel) and the first vision!!! YAY!!! the gift of tounges is REAL@!!!! i make so many mistakes and i say "it will be a MIRACLE if i ever learn spanish!!" and look how far ive come. its working :D slowly.... but surely.... did you know there are 14 tenses in spanish???  CAUSE I SURE DIDNT! but all is well in Israel.

its down to Me and sister Worlton who is A GEM! i love her so much. we have really become unified this week. we have struggled with our two investigators and this week we had a break through! i never knew just how important it was to really work by the spirit. TRULY trust in the spirit  and where it guides. the spirit knows better than you what the investigator needs. We found out that he is searching for peach and joy and comfort. but he has looked in all the wrong pklaces. he was hooked on marijuanna and drinking for years and we testified that the Holy Ghost brings the right kind of joy and peace. and it is from God himself. and when you feel these feelings, you know with out a doubt that it IS from God and you can feel His love for you so strongly. You cannot find this love or Joy any where  save through the spirit. I shared that i have a sister who has made similar choices and i know the love I have for her, and i can imagine the Love God and the Savior has for him. The spirit was so strong. and i was in tears (of course). and it was all in spanish. it was amazing! i know that if i didnt have the spirit with me, i wouldnt have been able to testify and say the things that was needed for him. Its real. the Holy Ghost's power is so real. and it WORKS! AND IT IS KEY to bringing others to Christ.ive also learned how the spirit speaks to me. i get the chills. i become over whelmed with a sensation i cannot descrive. and ive learned not only how the spirit guides, and testifies, but how he tenderly corrects and sometimes even chastises. but it is out of love. he is the best teacher for our souls. what would we do with out the Spirit of God.  OH! i love it so much!!!

This last sunday for releif society, we had a special guest assigned to come! it was Sister Carol Stevens from the General Relief Society presidency! aka MIKE'S AUNT!!!!! but....... she never showed up! i was so bumed! but at the same time, i think if she came i would be EXTREMELY distracted..... lol. no one knows why she never came. Its rare when a general authority doesnt show up.... makes me worried. i hope everything is ok. she has been in my prayers. so the back up plan was for the MTC Relief society presidency give a lesson on Joseph smith. THey talked about his life and his dedication to the restoration of this gospal. they talked about his experience in Liberty Jail (isnt that ironic? liberty means free.... and jail means...well.... NOT free?). they shared how some of the most loved sections from D&C come from his experience there. GO STUDY D&C 121,122,123. amazing. i loved how they explained that even in jail, that dark place became a "temple jail" to joseph. you can find the lord and He can revweal to you what you need to hear even in the most low of low places. you can have spiritual experiences anywhere. God is ready and available and wanting to bear you up. ALL THE TIME! "my hand is out stretched still". it is so true. What love our Heavenly Father has for all his children. Its amazing.

The last few weeks i have made it a goal to come to know my Savior more personally. I have been studying His life and his character. In PMG Chapo 6 is all about Attributes of Christ. and it breaks it down so you can study each characteristic. So far i have studied Faith, Hope, and Charity. THis week i am studying about Virtue. Christ WAS ALL OF THESE THINGS PERFECTLY! as ive studied, i have been very humbled. I dont know if i will be able to keep the commandment of becoming like Christ himself. He is everythign good. He is Goodness. He is perfect in ever. way. I wish i could tell you all that i have learned. I wish i could go into detail about each of these things! i would sincerely encourage you to study about the miracles brought through faith. about the hope god has for all us children. that we can return to his presence someday. he loves us so much. about the pure love of our savior. it is so pure. to have that christlike perspective is amazing! ok this may be wierd, but i feel like it helps. as i shake hands with the elders and embrace the sisters, i have been thinking to my self in my head"i lvoe you". because that is what the savior thinks when ever he communes with us. is "i love you". i feel like it has helped develope my charity. i know i have a lot to learn, but i now look at people and i just automaticly LOVE them! i want the best for them. i want them to know how much they ARE lvoed! and what amazing missionaires they are going to be~!!! ah! its so cool!! and did you know yo ucan apply charity to EVERYTHING! in your home, in your relationships, in keeping your covenants! EVERYTHING you can have a Christlike love for. its a deep concept. and one i dont know if i can every wrap my mind around, but it is a good challenge. the other thing  is virtue. so far i have learned that virtue also means purity, and integirty. having a pure hart and pure intentions. this is something i must work on too. i need to have every corner, every part of my soul dedcicated to the Lord. not just for the next 18 months. but then next REST OF MY LIFE! AND eternity after that! and that comes through virtue. spiriually pure. im working on it. but these things are AMAZING~! so much goes into it. i wish i could share so much more!

BAH! this is amazing. i am just LOVING life. loveing THIS! i feel so blessed. i feel SPOILED with blessings! its amazing.

so i hear we have a farm at home? ducks and chickens??? this was hailey's doing wasnt it? she has such a gift with animals. I can see all you kids taking such good care of them and having a total blast. so do we get eggs? have you taught the duck to roll over?  

bethay, thank you for sharing your spiritual experience with me this week. it made me so proud! thinking my little sisters are already so intune with the spirit! it makes me a proud big sis. :D keep being good. keep being beautiful. all five of you girls. and every single one of you. it is so important!!! keep building your relationship with your father in heaven. he loves you SO MUCH! and he is so proud of each of you.

ok here is some food for thought,. some questions i had this week that i had to go study about and i LOVED what i learned.

- when you see in the scriptures "rely on the merits of jesus christ" what does "merits" mean?

-what is the difference between grace and mercy?

-what is the difference between sin and transgress? what about adam and eve?

-and define "godly sorrow."

-last one: what is "the gospal of christ"

i cant believe im saying this.... but dan, go whip out your PMG and teach with the spirit. keep it simple! they teach us, teach in a way so an 8 year old can understand it. and its so nice! its so smooth! its simply the pure doctorine. and IT WORKS!!!!

i love you all. that is the latest and greatest of Sister Gonzales.

Les Quieres! La Iglesia is VERDADERA!!! y me amo mi dios.

loooooves

sister Gonzales.

PS HPPY BIRHTDAY DANNI! thanks for the package! and chazzy for the cough drops. :D

PSS HPPY GRADUATION! (i think its this week? not sure...)

PSSS congrats dad on bishoprick! I knew going on a mission ment more blessings for the fam, but it sounds like you have to really WORK for your blessings. jk lol good luck. :D im so proud. love you

PSSSS i hope you all watched sis monson's funeral. It was moving. and i am inspired to be a good wife and mother! one worthy to take care of the Prophet! <3 what an incredible woman of God. they talked about how she had a cheerful countenance, and God was in her countenance. what a good goal for all of us. When people look at me i dont want them to see Hermana Gonzales.  I want them to see The savior. and even the countenance of God in me.

Hurrah for Israel! 

You say Monkey, I say Mono

Dearest Family and Friends,

What an amazing week two! what a blessing it is to be here in the MTC. it truly is an inspired place! i have had some life changing experiences since i've been here. its been a sanctification process. Did you know that repentance brings the spirit? Do you have any idea how much power comes with this calling to be a representative of the Lord? Do you have any idea just how powerful the priesthood is??? cause i had no idea until this week.

Here's the story:

I have successfully done what every missionary has so desperately tried to avoid while being in the MTC.

and that is: Getting sick!

Yes. I got S.I.C.K. SICK! and it was the best "Getting sick" experience i have ever hadd and i am GRATEFUL  for it. Dad, remember when i got so sick with that terrible sore throat that whiped me out for like 10 days?  well thats what it was looking like. after two days for a sore throat thinking i could get over it in a few days, on day three i woke up and saw the white puss on my tonsills and said to my companions "today, we are going to the doctor!" (so if anything pops up on our insurence that is why). I went to the doc and told him my syptoms: swollen troat, puss, cant swollow, head ache, body aches, queezy. He said that they'd test for strep (but i already knew it wasnt strep). when it came back negative he said they were going to test my blood for mono (i already knew it was mono)

sure enough. the white blood cell count was way off ballance. MOE-NO IS BACK LADYS AND ELDERS! and this was NOT a very happy princess. :( AND the doc had the nerve to put me on BED REST! i thgought NOT FOR THIS MISSIONARY! i went home. took a nap, and was back to class.

But through these last three days of Sister Mono Gonzales, i said the most fervent prayers i have ever prayed. I said "dear Father in Heaven, I understand that I have been set apart as a representative of thee and of our Savior even Jesus Christ. I understand that there is a lot of power in thsi callling. id like to learn just what this means. I am calling upon the powers of heaven as a missionary of thee, to give me strength to overcome and that i can still attend classes and teaching appointments. I understand there is amazing power in Priesthood power. I am calling upon that power as well. I know that there are prayers said everyday for missionaries in your temples around the world. I am calling upon that power as well." and guess what. I made it through three days and didnt miss a thing. THat is power my friends. it is REAL. it is as real as the book of mormon we read. it is as real as our faith. i was given so much love from my district, so much service from my companions, and i learned that this is also a gospal of optims. i was as positive as i could be. and my companions said they were amazed with how happy i was even though i was sick. I feel like the spirit was helpnig me stay positive. and maybe that is why i recovered so quickly!  i have my follow up appointment in thirty minutes. and i have been very blessed. after the tuesday night devotional (which was AMAZING! i know God wanted me to be there), we have district review where we talk about the devotional and sister Gurney (the second cousilors wife) stood up to give her thoughts, then at the end, she looked at mee and said, "I know God wanted you to be there tonight. and because you were there, i KNOW that God will bless you with a good nights sleep." (this was huge cause i was having a really really REALLY hard time sleeping with my tem. fluxes every ten minutes) and sure enough. i prayed that night that God would honor that rightous woman's words, and i slept the best i have slept since being here at the MTC!!! I know that God is aware of me. He is definutely aware of his missionaries. its amazing. What a blessing. I cant wait to use this story on my mission. God has given me another tool! AWESOME!!!

Thank you for your prayers. I have definutely felt your prayers this week. i love you all. Les Quiero!

ill send more after my doc. appointment. xoxoxoxxoxoxo

Lessons Learned, and NO JUDGEMENT!!!

Final thoughts:

It is interesting to look back and see how God has shaped you for certain things.

It is interesting to see who he put into your life to prepare and better you to be an instrument for Him.
Yesterday I had to say goodbye to the one I love. To my Mike Woodfield. He is the love of my life. People try to give advice. People say "you know, girls don't HAVE to serve a mission. You aren't required." or "how come you're still going when you have the opportunity to marry someone you know is the one?" or my favorite, "are you sure this is the right thing...?"

What I've learned is not to judge. I don't know the whole story like these sweet people don't know mine. I cant see what happens behind closed doors, what conversations are exchanged behind the scenes. I cannot hear the deep sincere prayers, see the struggle, or know all the dynamics. and i definitely don't know what kind of relationship that person has with their Father in Heaven. it is not my place to question their spirituality and their decision making.
I found that i draw the most strength and i love the people who just give support. Who cast no judgement and recognize the sacrifice and support me for it. POSITIVE feed back. That's what I NEED.
Mike's sister said, "what if we treated everyone like they were going through some sort of trial? we would be way more Christ like. We would be more genuine, and they would feel God's love more!" I want to live like this. You never know what someone is dealing with. But if you just treated everyone, weather happy or sad, with overwhelming love, compassion and support in their efforts and decisions, life would be so much more bearable.

Back when I went through the temple for the first time, Sister Allen made the experience even sweeter. And i made a life friend.
She looked at me and said "Your name is Morgan?" I said, "Yes" she looked into my eyes, like she was looking into my soul, and she said "My brand new grand daughter's name is Morgan, and you have the same eyes." she became emotional. Then she asked  "Are you here for marriage or mission?" I said a Mission. She grew even more emotional and told me that i was doing the right thing.
Afterwards, we were taking pictures in front of the temple and she came out. I ran to her and said "Sister Allen, thank you for making this an even more incredible experience." Mike was standing next to me and I introduced them.
I wont lie, I'm hesitant sometimes because of the reactions we've gotten. But her reaction was priceless. She got so excited! She asked if he was waiting for me. We told him he was. She got even MORE excited!
Well she gave us her phone number and asked us to keep in touch.
Yesterday, we went to say goodbye and see ya later. We visited her home. She made us feel so loved. Like a million bucks!!! By the end of our visit, she said EXACTLY what we  needed to hear. It was the most meaningful tender mercy of this experience.
She gestured to us and said "God applauds This."

We know God is proud of us. We know that We are being obedient. And because we are obedient, and we are keeping God's commandments and keeping our covenants, We WILL be blessed.
I have so much faith in that.

And here we go. The hardest part is over. it is all down hill from here.
The Church is true! God is in control and only He and I know what is going on. He loves me and will take care of me. He loves each of us. HE has a different plan for each of us. Its a beautiful thing.

Here we go.
Love Sister Morgan Gonzales. <3

Oh my goodness. Is this really happening? Am I seriously on my way!? After six months of waiting it is actually right here, right now???? The next year and a half is planned for me. It's knocking at my front door. Am I ready?? Am I prepared? Do I have everything? Am I spiritually in tube enough??? Bah! I didn't know it was possible to feel so many extreme emotions all at once. My heart is breaking, but I'm so excited. I have anxiety yet j know Heavenly Father has everything under control. I'm brave and scared. I'm ready but not. I'm can't wait, but at the same time I can.
I am just praying those I leave behind will be more proud than sad. I pray that I won't let God down. I just want to be the very best for Him. I just want to work hard, not miss a single beat or prompting, and change someone, just one person's, life. That's all I want.
I have been so incredibly blessed. Blessed with amazing, supportive, loving people on every side of me!!! It's hard to leave all that behind. But ready or not HERE WE GO!!!
And I'm coming in HOT! Ready to serve, ready to work my butt off! Being it on. All or nothing. Im decided that I'm going big or going home. Bah! And here it is. Days! HOURS away. And it's actually happening. The most critical years if my life.
Sigh...... Ready or not here I go.
Like I said. So blessed. I am so excited! So sad! My emotions are all over and I am bursting inside. Just bursting. But here we go. The adventure of a life time.

The church is true. And don't you forget it.

Love moe