Giving Up Something Good for Something Greater

Queriro Familio y Amigas en Israel,

Well, to be quite honest, not too much excited has happened here in the MTC. ITs pretty normal. Oh except for yesterday when we made history by hosting the LARGEST group of new missionaries into the MTC!!!

940 new missionaries showed up yesterday and our district was asked to host them. I welcomed 4 beautiful, excited, new sisters to the MTC and seeing them say goodbye to their families, brought me back to four weeks ago when i said my goodbyes. i cant believe how fast it went. it fees like forever ago. It was hard to watch, but I was overwhelmed with the spirit, i was overwhelmed with the knowledge that God, our loveing heavenly father is very much aware of every single one of them. every single missionary and their sacrifices. every story is different. every back ground is different. I knew that Heavenly Father is very much aware of every single mom who sobbed as they drove away. every little brother or sister who hugged their big bro or sis for the last time in a long time. as the elder kissed his baby brother goodbye and knew that that baby was too young to know what as happening, and would have to get to know the three year old when he came home. God knows every emotion. Our savior knows every emotion. No sacrifice goes unnoticed to God. not one! I think of things i had to give up before coming. But after being here, it seems so small. Sacrifice is giving up something good for something greater. This is the Greatest Work i have ever experienced!!! 

WHat a blessing. I am just overwhelmed with gratitude EVERY DAY! my prayers have gone from five minutes (which is a long time) to ten.... to FIFTEEN MINUTES! last night i spent 15 minutes by my bedside just pouring my heart out to the Lord in gratitude. Its hard to ask for anything when you feel so blessed!!! i have never prayed so hard in my life i have never said such sincere words (in english or spanish!) i have never begged for guidence or help or strength as much as i have since bing on a mission. I am a missionary! you''d think that i am automatically blessed. we are. but i have never worked so hard for blessings. it makes me think "what was i doing BEFORE!??'' God was blessing me so much before and i hardly worked for it. THat is mercy my friends. that is Grace. That is unconditional love. But i will NEVER go back to who i was. I love this feeling i have now. My relationship with my Heavenly Father has grown trumendously. It is probably the most intimate relationship i have right now. Its hard to grow close to missionaries around you. I dont have family or boy friend here, so my father in heaven is it. He is my greatest support.

THis week has been beautiful. Ful lof the spirit. Im still learnign to recognize its promptings. Its funny how everything is connected. last week i studied about the spirit. then our devotional talk, the speaker said, im trashing my planned talk and following the spirit. i whitnessed first hand just what power the spirit has. THis week ive been studying about knowledge, then the devotional speaker gave a talk full of doctrinal knowledge! its awesome! and its funny how the spirit DOESNT EVEN  connect at all~! i was studying more about the important of having knowledge this week, then sis. worlton turned to me and said one thing. then all of a sudden the spirit taught me a valuable lesson about justice and mercy! COMPLETELY unrelated to what i was dilligently studying!!! but i learned, that as long as your heart and mind are always open,. then the spirit will get across what you need. i learned that the Savior truly does know me better than i know my self. I didnt know i needed to learn about mercy. i thought i understood. but the spirit tenderly taught me. He is very good at that.

ohhh i cannot wait for all the missionaires to have such an amazing experience here! everyone needs to experience what im experiencing!!!

Im not going to lie, homesickness caught up with me this week.

One night after a 20 minute prayer, with some tears, i crawled into bed. but i still had a lump in my throught. i had thoughts of ""why would i ever leave what was going so well????!?"" with college, Mike, family, siblings, tender mercies through ward members, a good job, my car, my callings, why would i ever leave my so very blessed life??? i layed there thinking. its clear now that satan was working on me. that lump in my throught was growing by the second. after five minyutes of holding it all in, i couldnt any more. i went into the hall, not to distract my roomates. and i slid down the wall and just released that lump through my eyes. i cried. the hardest ive cried in a while. This is the hardest, most humbling thing. But i know it is worth it. and like yesterday, i got the feeeling, that No sacrifice goes unnoticed to God. He blessed the pioneers. now we have temples. he took care of joseph smith, and now we have the book for mormon. He is very much aware of this daughter of His. and after a two minutes, i crawled back in bed completely at peace. He loves me. He loves that i am here. He knows exactly what im going through. This week i''ve learned to TRULY rely on the strenth of my SAVIOR! He is my Savior. he saves me everyday. i have so many weaknesses. please go read Ether 12. i decected this chapter and i learned that weakness is there for a reason and it is part of Gods plan for us. every thing happens for a reason. a sweet old woman said to me yesterday "no accidents happen in the life of a rightous person"

i believe it. 100%

Well. that is the latest and greatest.

I sang in our branch last sunday.

President Eyring''s granddaughter is one of our teachers. and she is GOLDEN! she could be a general authority she is s o so sweet.

president Nally the MTC pres knows me by name. He loves me. he shakes my hand everythime i see him. (mostly cause i know his grandson JM who was a totla punk in high school..... funny.... anyway) and i ask him every day to extend my time here so i can be here for the PROPHET!!! he said, "how much money do you have in your wallet?" i said "as much as missionaries are supposed to have. its yours!"

mom to answer your question, no, they arent real investigators. they are our teachers playing as investigators from their missions.

my spanish is getting better. TONS better. its cause i tried going a day with ZERO ENGLISH! it was hard!!!!!!!! REALLY HARD! but it inspired me to learn more! its hard to remember all the rules. and its even harder not to let the spanish get in the way of the spirit when teaching.

and fun fact, idk if i told you this before, but our district is very unique! as in NO ONE in our district is going to the same place! normally they try to put districts together who are ALL going to the same place. no one in ours EXCEPT me and my companion. we rock it!

thats all.

Hurrah for israel!!!! BUT FOR REAL! I LOVE THIS~!

all is well in zion. :)

les queiero! muah!

Hermana Gonzales <3